It was one of those days. When I was generally a bit down and there seemed little to charm me or my wandering attention span. Finding myself adrift on a sea of emotions is generally a very non happening feeling for me. I find that it makes me very icky and i feel pretty much pissed off with life.
Unfortunately someone called me at that very moment. Someone I'd wanted to talk to for a very long time. And midway into the conversation or as the other person called it - sparring joust, they asked me,"Have you ever had your heart broken?"
And as usual I said,"To have your heart broken, you need to possess a heart in the first place."
And that was a lie. I've had my heart broken, innumerable times. By each and every person I came across. Each person that I'd wanted to befriend but they foudn me too difficult to handle, each person whom I wanted to love forever and all they wanted was to move on, each person whom I wanted shoudl listen to me but who wanted to talk. Yes I've had my heart broken. In innumerable places and in innumerable ways.
Now all that's left is a small patch work of veins and arteries and flesh. A huge gaping hole with a few fragments of soft tissue and sinew, that helps keep me alive but that still has hope and a little sugar to keep it going.
Maybe I was right the first time my friend, I do not have a heart, I have a small,torn, fragmented piece of flesh that passes for a heart. And now if it gets broken again there will be nothing left and then without hope i shall die. Die of a broken heart. And I want to live.
My defense mechanism keeps me alive. Understand that and move on. Otherwise you will break what's left of it and leave me gasping for breath.
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