Madras Musings - 3

I'm back in Madras. I've been here since the 31st. Had to go to various places for Campus interviews and so far it's been a massive washout. Maybe it's me, maybe it's the moon, maybe it's just a bad time to be going for Campuses but what the hell ever it is, it's not funny anymore. All that effort and absolutely no results. Period.

Coming to relationships I've been through some interesting times. I've lost my Maternal Grandpa, Found a new friend (Henceforth referred to as 'Dude') who's suffered as much as I have and has lost faith in relationships, My on again off again best friend is in off mode at the moment and looks like thing will remain in off mode permanently. I just got tired of being the back up guy. It was weird.

With regards to Grandpa, I just don't get it. It is really weird. I didn't feel anything. I know that he hated me and for all the wrong reasons, but I was surprised by my own reaction. I didn't bother to cry and I didn't even bother to call my Naani.

I'm not speaking to my Dad either. He fucked me over again. He went around looking for a house for his dear Father in Law number two while I've been crying myself hoarse begging him to do something about my dead Mother's stuff which has been either lying in storage or has been misused by the Bitch (Read Stepmom.)

Know what? I got him some really beautiful Kurta Pyjamas for the recent functions in the family and the Bitch didn't let wear those either. I'm poorer by 10 grand and the weirdo prefers to kiss her cunt. God what I do to deserve these jerks?

I tried to cry when I heard that Naanaji died. Even rubbed my eyes with a cut onion. Nada. Nix. Nyen. Nyet. Nothing. I just did not cry. Maybe it is because I don't have a single happy memory of him. When I was little he used to bite my cheeks and I would have huge teeth marks for days. I hated going near him. As I grew older I was constantly compared to my cousins and sundry other kids even though I was ahead of them in every way. He'd always make me feel inferior. I'm not glad he's dead, I just don't care...........

I went shopping as usual. Have a list to complete. Bought a classic Black messenger bag from Spazio that's located across the Sheraton Towers in Adiyar / Alwarpeta. Also found the perfect Ink Pen from Pelikan in the Pen Store in the Departures lounge of the Delhi Airport. Didn't buy it though. Little on the expensive side. I did get myself a new leather pen holder that can accomodate three pens for my existing collection of Ink Pens.

Went to FunkJazz again to savor it's amazing doughnuts. Dude and I started out at 8 p.m. last night and were out till 1 a.m. Went all over Madras in his car. Also realised that there are truly fucked up people in the world, much more messed up than I am.

The novel hasn't progressed much. Want it move ahead though. Wish things would move and move fast.

Leaving Madras tomorrow. Back to Gurgaon. Would be going to the Hometown later this week. Till then...........